There’s probably some statistical or physical (I never made it through Physics in high school) reason why bread, when it falls from the table to the floor, usually does so ‘jelly-side’ down. Jelly-side up? No mess. Jelly-side down? Get a dog.

Still, the question begs for an answer. Why does bread hit the floor ‘jelly-side’ down?

Believe it or not, there are books on that subject, or depending on your perspective of physics and statistical analysis, books on where that subject could lead.

Type in ‘jelly-side down’ in Google or Amazon. See you in a few weeks.

Scientists like to know how the natural world works. They observe things in the world and and ask questions about that which is not fully understood.

If it were not for the geometry, algebra, chemistry, biology, calculus, trigonometry, and physics, I could have been a scientist.

I know how to ask questions.

Answers are less easy to come by than questions.

Look at the variables involved in just the bread and the jelly. More questions.

What’s the size and weight of the bread? How much jelly is to be applied? Which side of the bread should the jelly be spread? How high is the table from the floor?

Is it a ‘push’ from the table, an accidental dropping, or is it necessary to track all the steps and possible methods of simply dropping the bread?

Toast or plain white? Or wheat? Or Hawaiian sweet bread?

I remember a few things from high school. My questions could be worded into a hypothesis. That’s a statement that is a possible answer to the original question.

A prediction can be formed from the hypothesis, as it could accurately state in advance the result you’d expect from testing the original hypothesis.

Those are called ‘if then’ statements, such as “if toast falls off a table, then it always lands jelly-side down.”

Next, we need some experiments to prove that statement. That involves jelly, bread, a table, a floor, knife (to spread the jelly), and someone to record the results of each test.

That involves friends an neighbors, a video camera, perhaps a video tape editing and archiving system, someone to handle the news media when results are formulated.

No wonder life is complicated. We make it that way.

Regardless, such an exercise can be compared to many of life’s great, unanswered questions, and with the same result. Futility.

No matter the statistical analysis and physics involved, everyone already knows the answer: the probability of the bread falling jelly-side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Additional musings and nonsense can be read on the McElfresh.org site (with photos, stories, a photo gallery, and an audio podcast). Should you require non-licorice tasting musings, try RonMcElfresh.com. No photos, no podcasts-- no holds barred musings for the thoughtful generation. Either way, it's the same price.